Dating....

Ah.

Yes, I know.

The wonderful subject of dating.

Personally, I'm not even old enough to date.  But, that doesn't mean I can't prep myself to be a worthy young woman to date all this fantastically spiritual young men!

In this post, I'm going to talk a little bit respect on dates.

In the book "What Girls Need to Know About Guys" by John Hilton III and Lani O Hilton, it gives some insightful tips on respect.  I strongly encourage ya'll to read it - I read it in under 24 hours and even read the vice-versa part for boys. 

In a chapter about respect, they say:

When you really know you are a daughter of God and you really feel it, it affects how you act.  True doctrine changes behavior.  It will not only affect how you fix yourself up, how you dress, how you interact with others, but it will affect how you expect to be treated by others.  Think of a princess in ancient times. If she were taken out of her castle, she would still expect to be treated like a princess.  There were certain things she wouldn't put up with.  This is one reason we really need to internalize the principles from the first chapters because if we REALLY feel we are God's supreme creation, we will expect to be treated respectfully.

I love what they say. 

Girls: You are literal daughters of God, sent to this earth to represent Christ.  You are elect and you are divine.  You deserve respect, but you also need to give respect in turn.

Tip One:  "Expect Respect"
    In the Hilton's book, it talks a lot about expecting respect.  But how can you do that?
     -First of all, let the boy be courteous.  I know many head-strong young women who are fully capable of opening the door themselves.  But that's not the point.  It's not the ability of being able to open the door for yourself, but the ability to test both yourself & your date on door-opening skills.  As a daughter of God, you deserve respect.  Expect nothing less.  If he can't do the small acts of respect and treat you like a princess, then he can't respect you in larger aspects.
      -Secondly, wait.  If it takes him a minute to get around to opening your door, then take a minute to double-check your make-up or that your fancy-do stayed in through the drive.  If it takes him a minute to realize that you aren't walking, let him gather up his senses.  Slow down your pace so that he can open the door to the restaurant for you.  If he walks in the building while you are still waiting in the car, stand your ground. 
       -Realize, that like girls, boys sometimes forget.  The Hilton's book reads: You don't have to go to the extreme of waiting forever.  If a young man is not giving you the respect you deserve, be as gracious as you can be.  Some guys aren't used to doing these simple courtesies for women...and may have not been taught this principle in their home.  If you want to bless him for the rest of his life, kindly says something like, "I really like it when guys open doors for me," or even more specifically, "I would really like it if you opened the door for me."  Often they just need to be taught or clearly told, and then they are happy to comply.

Tip Two: Give Respect
     Give respect in return.  Not only should you let him show respect and accept it, but you should show it in return.  Thank him for the night.  Use your manners.  Treat him as a son of God.  Dress modestly.  And most importanly, keep your standards up.


Tip Three: Respect Yourself
    No self-respecting person would waste their time with somebody who doesn't comply to their standards or treat them correctly. 
     Elder Holland says:
     In a dating and courtship relationship, I would not have you spend five minutes with someone who belittles you, one who is constanly critical of you, one who is cruel at your expense and may even call it humor.  Life is tough enough without the person who is supposed to love you leading the assault on your self-esteem, your sense of dignity, your confidence, and your joy.  In this person's care, you derserve to feel physically safe and emotionall secure.

Tip Four: Accept Compliments.
     Accept compliments graciously and sweetly.  If a boy tells you that you look very nice in your dress, accept it!  Don't go back and scream in his face, "I look like a pig.  This dress makes my waist look fat.  Don't you think my thighs look chubby....?"  No, that's awkward.  Accept the compliment!  They really mean it!
Tip Five: Look for the Man Who Honors You
    Lani Hilton says: Girls, a real man will honor you.  Expect the respect you derserve as a daughter of a Heavenly King.  Graciously and gratefully accept the respect that is offered.
     A true prince will automatically know and treat you like the princess you are.  He will never have to be reminded.  He will have been trained in the hand of the Lord to be your worthy prince. 


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-Flame